Are you sick and tired of the same commonplace vacation scenarios? Would you like to go beyond the obvious, which is either beach bumming or running around with your stone-heavy Nikon and tracking all those points of interest that are supposed to be there... somewhere? The answer is: theme travel.
Don't trust guidebooks wholeheartedly. You won't have time to see or do all the things they commend anyway. Just pick what really interests you and make it your principal focus. The benefits? You know exactly what you're going to get, so you don't risk disappointment.
Wine tours, culinary adventures, ghost towns, and museum trips are all good ideas. Now, if you really want to stand out from the crowd, why not go even further and break a social taboo as well. Take nudity as a focal point of your coming trip to end up with only a few yet ridiculously funny images that will make your friends turn green with envy. And if somebody gets offended... well, it's just nature, isn't it? But then again, you wouldn't believe how naughty nature can be.
Malé, Maldives
Paradisaical beaches, infinite stretches of water, and manhoods on trees - they're so right when they compare Maldives to the Garden of Eden. Mango picking, anyone?
Privates on a mango tree in City Garden Cafe. Photo by miusam-ck
Arenal Hanging Bridges, Costa Rica
While in Costa Rica, make sure you don't miss out on the Arenal Hanging Bridges. A mystical hike through lush vegetation, magnificent vistas of the volcano, and penis trees are vital here, literally.
Welcome to the jungle - La Fortuna, Costa Rica. Photo by yonas1
Joshua Tree National Park, USA
As you saunter through the stony landscape of Joshua Tree National Park you can't help but expect a dinosaur jump out from behind the giant boulders. Rather unlikely, but you might come across this one-eyed monster.
Hard like stone. Photo by reslbear1
Guánica Dry Forest, Puerto Rico
Apparently just a melocactus, but what a striking resemblance! Puerto Rico offers a lot more than the Caribbean bliss. Just don't squat down to take a picture.
Genus Cactus. Bosque Xerofítico de Guánica. Photo by jodiaz76
Boulder Park, USA
The Desert View Tower in Boulder Park, CA, looks out onto the voluptuous carvings of wind and rain, so incredibly detailed artists that the indigenous people had no doubts the rock should be worshiped as a symbol of fertility.
So that's erosion! Photo by onewhowaits
Koh Samui, Thailand
No trip to Koh Samui, Thailand, can be called complete without catching a glimpse of the Grandmother Rock, a sexy detail drawing hordes of visitors to the lovely Lamai Beach. Grandfather's there, too, if you're asking.
Granny's rock. Photo by redrayder
St Catherine, Jamaica
Locally known as "pum pum rock" (yes, you guessed why), this adorable limestone carving sitting along the banks of the Rio Cobre has long been the prime attraction of the Bog Walk Gorge, St Catherine in Jamaica.
Scenes of Jamaica. Photo by alexsap
Mattawan, USA
Two can naturally play that game as well, as seen in the village of Mattawan, Michigan, USA. Wolf Lake State Fish Hatchery makes for a particularly romantic backdrop.
Two trunks or...? Photo by pethikemou
In the backyard
And if you can't afford distant travels, there's always something to be found at the grocer's round the corner...
Plum bum bum. Photo by Podknox
... if not in your very own garden.
Vital vitamins. Photo by divinely guided
Conclusions
Apparently, a staggering number of things in this world prove to possess sexy human-like features. The question is whether nature really is so naughty, or are the appearances mere products of filtering completely arbitrary objects through our filthy minds? So tell me guys, am I obscene or is there really a penis "glued" to that mango tree?
So long fellow travelers. Enjoy the world. Go dirty!
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